Men and women in love can be very sweet no matter what they do, but after the love period, the enthusiasm of both parties will gradually fade away, and both parties will gradually show their truest state. Such a contrast can easily lead to breakup. So how can we maintain the relationship for a long time after the passionate love period?
1. Positive illusion
Positive illusion is mainly It means that both parties in love turn the idealization of their self-image into the impression of the ideal partner, and project the impression of the ideal partner into reality, so they will not feel that there is a problem in getting along during the relationship.
When you first start a relationship, both parties may feel that the other person is good at everything and that he is their ideal partner, so the two parties will get along very well. This is what we call love. Positive Illusion.
For example:
Gangzi was attracted by an ideal girl at first. The girl was sincere, gentle and considerate, and her appearance was also the type that Gangzi liked. Everything seemed to be completely consistent. Gangzi’s criteria for finding a girlfriend. But after they were together for a few months, Gangzi discovered many differences in the process of getting along with this perfect girl, some of which were completely inconsistent with Gangzi's imagination!
Now the relationship between Gangzi and this girl has two development directions:
First, Gangzi and this girl communicated the problems and conflicts between them , and then the two people start a long-distance love race together, working together to gradually adapt to each other's lives. In this case, Gangzi will feel that his positive illusion is actually right, because his girlfriend's behavior is not much different from before.
The second situation is that Gangzi forces his girlfriend to be the same as before, otherwise he feels that his girlfriend is cheating on him. And the girl felt that I had never changed, and the two refused to give in to each other, and finally parted ways!
Here, what the editor wants to say is, how to maintain the relationship after the relationship is through using positive illusions and running in The advantages and disadvantages of both parties make the relationship last long!
2. Emotional balance
Maintaining the relationship after the passionate love period requires mutual efforts from both parties. If one party in a relationship invests a lot, but the other party only takes but doesn’t know how to give or gives very little, it is likely to cause an imbalance in the relationship. The party who gives more will naturally feel dissatisfied, and the relationship between the two parties will be damaged. Problems will arise. In a relationship, loving and being loved are very important. After the love period, if you want to maintain a long-term relationship, you must learn to maintain a balance of income and expenditure in the relationship!
3. Psychological flexibility
Psychological flexibility in love refers to the multi-faceted nature of people in love and life. You can be introverted, calm or humorous. These multi-faceted properties allow the other person to get along with you better.Feel a lot of difference in the process, thus keeping the fun of love alive. This is what we often say. Occasionally there will be some surprises and romance in relationships, showing the sense of ritual on special days.
After the passionate love period, if you want the relationship to last longer, it must be through the efforts of both parties, tolerating each other, trying to change the things that can be changed, and tolerating the things that cannot be changed. After all, two people are different individuals, and it is impossible to say that they have a complete tacit understanding.
