No relationship can always be talked about with freshness. As time goes by, the freshness will always fade away, and both parties will always return to the dull period. If you want to bring a faded relationship back to the stage of love, it does not rely on passion, but on your own reconciliation three times:
1. Leave some of your fantasies behind and accept the reality of love
Love is not as passionate as you imagined. After the passionate love period, you still have to face daily necessities, children’s education, and mortgage payments. Stress, elderly care and many other issues.
Those occasional novelties are just the spice of a long life for two people. The reason why many people can't go on is because they imagine love as too beautiful and have never really loved anyone. What they are obsessed with is just the love they imagined.
What is a truly good marriage?
It is about trying to be a good partner and then leading the other person to become a person you like, rather than trying desperately to make the other person a good partner. Throw yourself into fantasy.
Therefore, the first level of reconciliation is to allow yourself to accept the reality of marriage, acknowledge the imperfection of your partner, and allow yourself to become rational and safe in marriage.
2. Leave the fantasy of your partner and accept the dynamics of love
When we first got together, this People may be meticulous, considerate, and give in at every turn, but this in itself is a behavior that is extremely illogical to ordinary people.
As your partner's shortcomings are exposed, you will gradually realize - "He is not as perfect as you thought, and he is even completely different from when you first got together."
When When you are unwilling to accept the bad side of your partner, then there will be a huge gap between the two:
You always feel that it is not easy for you to make money in the wind and rain, but your wife enjoys happiness at home;< /p>
She always feels that she serves her children and takes care of her parents-in-law every day, and has no time for herself at all. Her husband is out and about every day...
This is the shortcoming of many love and marriages. They all feel that they are great and giving, while their partners do very little. No one understands anyone, and everyone feels aggrieved. In marriage, both people imagined themselves too great.
You will never see what your partner has done for the family, you only see the achievements you have made. When you encounter any problems, you will not learn to think from others' perspective. You will only blame your partner for why they are not as satisfactory as you want. What followed was quarrels and cold violence.
So the second level of reconciliation is that you have to admit that you are not actually that great, and your partner is not as bad as you imagined. The feeling of being unable to go back, what we can do is not to bite the bullet and let go , but accept.
In a sense, when you start to try to accept "love without passion", two people can transition to a higher dimension of family love.
3. Leave the fantasy of passion and accept that "plainness is the romance of passionate love"
The so-called Plainness does not mean that it is tasteless, but that each other can love each other in a comfortable way.
What is good love?
In fact, you have your own things to do, and he has his career to pursue. The meaning of love is not a tool to squeeze out the existing life. , but a spiritual sustenance to relieve each other's pressure and provide each other with support.
In short - love is a springboard to achieve a better relationship. Because of the existence of this love, your career, studies and life begin to enter a virtuous cycle, and the other person also continues to become better because of your existence.
Long-term love must be a win-win relationship, and many bad relationships cannot escape the curse of internal friction.
Life may seem dull, but you are constantly growing. You may no longer have the scenes of you and me when you were young, but it has given you a sense of faith that will last forever.
